its midnight now.
not really, its 22 minutes past midnight.
im feeling okay honestly, coming out the closet being who i really want to be. Its really nerve wracking but i think i feel better, and things with my friends are a little rough now but its okay, or atleast it will be.
time goes on whether i like it or not, and something will happen whether i like it or not.
ill always be glad for that though, or atleast try to be. Im glad that things are going the way that they are right now, mostly. seeing a bunch of friends later in this week, different ones, that ive never seen in person before, but also not sure if my work will be scheduled on that day, and im too scared to even call and tell them i wont be available, but its okay.
ive been sitting in my bed for hours for the last few days, maybe up until sunrise writing, but its all been scrapped because its not stuff id rather put out, but more for jotting down for no particular reason. that might also be what this is, but i feel its different in some sort of way, though in reality its the exact same.
56 past midnight now, im kinda paranoid but thats okay, the leaves on the trees outside soothe me whenever i can see them swaying from the view in my bed, bringing me peace in some sort of way.
im not sure why, but its calming.
i like when it rains as well, i find it more than comforting. i dont think it would bother me at all if it rained all day, every day, forever. when you think about it though, enough of something will always start to get boring and irritating, so maybe i shouldnt say things like that, because change is needed in life for improvement, and if it were to be raining all the time, i wouldnt be able to go outside, and i would get bored of being trapped inside.
i think most people would, but then again, i dont know people that well.
i wish i knew people better, and i think i can read them quite well, but what good does that do if you cant respond correctly. i cant word myself correctly, and it makes my quite upset, but i think thats okay because i feel what i say can be interpreted into what its meant to be.
im not sure where im going, but i hope it makes sense.
i really want to write more, but i feel as if my brain is stuck in a loop that cant seem to get out of a buffering.
thank you though, i appreciate it.